Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Discovering Iowa
Car Boat from Denise Collazo on Vimeo.
We had to pull over when we saw this. I've added it to my wish list along with that jet pack I've been wanting.
Friday, September 2, 2011
Taming My Nerves
At a recent conference where I led worship, a woman asked me, “How did you overcome your nerves when leading?” She is one of the few people who had seen me perform at a coffeehouse years ago when my nerves danced in my fingertips and vocal cords as I stumbled through my set list. Unfortunately, they were the prominent performers of the evening.
Any person who gets up in front of people to say, in essence, “Look over here! At me! I have something worthy of your time and attention!” will, at some point, have to confront their nerves.
For me as a singer/songwriter, the anxiety set in not only as a result of being in front of a crowd of people whose attention was on me, but because of the content of my message. I was sharing songs I had written from very personal places (some of my deepest hurts, greatest joys, and biggest regrets) hoping that somehow others would connect to the message and the God behind it. I was exposing my heart. Vulnerability wasn’t something that came easily to me. It still doesn’t. I like fig leaves, and animal skins, and hiding among the trees.
Although time, preparation, and prayer have all helped in taking the edge off, there is one realization that has completely changed my perspective and enabled me to be free and relaxed on stage. One simple, permeating truth: It’s not about me; it’s ALL about God! Not my story but His story told through me! It’s a subtle difference with huge implications. Instead of “hoping people will connect to the message and the God behind it,” I realize He is the message! I hide behind Him(check out Colossians 3:3). My purpose, on and off stage, is to make Him famous.
I have a newfound confidence because, no matter how unworthy or incapable I am, He is completely worthy and fully capable! I give my all, my best and He multiplies and uses it for His glory.
Any person who gets up in front of people to say, in essence, “Look over here! At me! I have something worthy of your time and attention!” will, at some point, have to confront their nerves.
For me as a singer/songwriter, the anxiety set in not only as a result of being in front of a crowd of people whose attention was on me, but because of the content of my message. I was sharing songs I had written from very personal places (some of my deepest hurts, greatest joys, and biggest regrets) hoping that somehow others would connect to the message and the God behind it. I was exposing my heart. Vulnerability wasn’t something that came easily to me. It still doesn’t. I like fig leaves, and animal skins, and hiding among the trees.
Although time, preparation, and prayer have all helped in taking the edge off, there is one realization that has completely changed my perspective and enabled me to be free and relaxed on stage. One simple, permeating truth: It’s not about me; it’s ALL about God! Not my story but His story told through me! It’s a subtle difference with huge implications. Instead of “hoping people will connect to the message and the God behind it,” I realize He is the message! I hide behind Him(check out Colossians 3:3). My purpose, on and off stage, is to make Him famous.
I have a newfound confidence because, no matter how unworthy or incapable I am, He is completely worthy and fully capable! I give my all, my best and He multiplies and uses it for His glory.
I now look at nervousness as a faithful friend and mentor. It’s there with me just below the surface as a healthy reminder that I represent someone infinitely more impressive than I could ever hope to be and that it’s only by His grace I am able to do so. It also redirects me when I lose sight of that fact. The tightness in my vocal chords and the jelly fingers are telltale signs that I’ve lost sight of my purpose, my eyes have turned inward, or outward instead of upward, and I need to refocus.
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